Movie Review: Black Adam

Black Adam continues DC Comics frustrating pursuit of a cinematic universe. There were highish hopes for this one: I mean, the Rock kinda feels like a superhero anyways, so having him play one makes sense. And how Black Adam goes about his superheroing could have certainly made for a more daring, interesting story. But profit motive and superhero formula chruns Black Adam out to the audiences, ready for mass consumption while saying nothing new or exciting. So parents, take your 8 year old and get that mid afternoon nap in.

Black Adam starts in the kingdom of Kahndaq, an Egypt equivalent in 2600 B.C. Ruled by a tyrant king hell bent on power, Kahndaq was at risk for destruction when this king created the crown of Sabbac, which would unleash hell on Earth. However, a young boy stands up to the king, and by a miracle from the Shazam wizards, ends up Teth-Adam (Dwayne Johnson), saving the people from a vile fate. Fast forward to present day, and Kahndaq is very much stuck in the same cycle: this time controlled by foreign tyrants looking for that Sabbac crown. Enter Adrianna Tomaz (Sarah Shahi) and her superhero fanatic son Amon (Bodhi Sabongui), who try to prevent the crown’s evil from happening again. Lo and behold, a similar miracle happens to Adrianna, and Teth-Adam wakes up and lays waste to a bunch of mercenaries. This certainly concerns Amanda Waller (Viola Davis, on Zoom this whole film), who sends the Justice Society to stop Teth-Adam. That means we see DC comics heroes like Hawkman (Aldis Hodge), Doctor Fate (Pierce Brosnan), Cyclone (Quintessa Swindell), and Atom Smasher (Noah Centineo).

DC has been one step behind Marvel for years now, even though their big heroes (Superman, Batman), have been around longer and are more widely known. Because of this, the producers have developed this “little brother” complex, and just end up rushing and copycating Marvel ideas that have slowly manifested. The Avengers took 4 years to come to the big screen. The Justice Society comes together in one movie. As such, with 4 backstories to tell, DC is once again hoping for lightning in a bottle team chemistry and 1 character trait at best, the definition of insanity. Other than the Suicide Squad, this might be the worst superhero team I’ve seen in a movie: clearly not directed meaningfully, Aldis Hodge, Noah Centineo, Quintessa Swindell, and Pierce Brosnan simply do their own thing and hope it works. There’s negative chemistry everywhere, as any time to “bond” falls hilariously flat, so when team members start sacrificing themselves, no one cares. Hawkman is such a badly written hero I was expecting a heel turn; he’s needlessly confrontational and actively puts people in harms way but claims he’s here to “save lives”, ick. Outside of the Justice Society, Amon is Miss Marvel with no TV series to develop his character, and Mo Amer, the supposed Jon Favreau like character relief, is relegated to the funny fat guy stereotype. Even Black Adam can’t escape “little brother” syndrome: he’s a less funny Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy, attempting to one liner his way into people’s hearts, but with a backstory better written for Killmonger in Black Panther. Black Adam will have you thinking about spending your time watching better superhero movies, or better movies with all the actors in it.

But most of Black Adam’s mediocreness stems from one corporate decision: prioritizing profits over character. Black Adam’s backstory is totally fascinating, and should have led to this movie having a grizzly, R rating. But, we have a universe to build and the Rock, so that means PG-13, to not leave out kids. The downplaying neuters the essence of Black Adam’s character, turning him into a blank figure CGI killing CGI figures that leave no lasting impression on anyone. PG-13 also cripples the tone of the movie, which should be more hardened and somber like the character. But because the Snyder movies underperformed, profit motive dictates DC make the movie funnier and more silly, which conveniently fits into the tie in with Shazam. But corporations don’t make art, they make profits, meaning any artistic value is sucked out of Black Adam in favor of soulless superhero movies for what the studio sees as dumb audiences who will pay to see anything. Clearly this type of moviemaking was working for some people in the theatre I saw Black Adam in, but the ratio was NOT in the movie’s favor, because by the end you realize you feel nothing for what you just saw, except maybe the end credits sequence, which has NOTHING to do with the movie onscreen, bummer.

Movies are at their best when art and economics work hand in hand to deliver the best result for everyone. Teeter too far in either direction, and the movie suffers. One supposed funny line in Black Adam a character says is “A bad plan is better than no plan at all.” I hard disagree when it comes to movies. Bad plans leave you feeling nothing for what you just saw, like you were used, which is exactly how I felt after watching Black Adam. I hope Dwayne Johnson, Pierce Brosnan, Aldis Hodge, and everyone enjoys the house they got out of this movie, I guess.

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