Now that’s what I’m talking about. Not that I was rooting against Journey to Bethlehem, but I was hoping something more Santa-ey would challenge the Joseph/Mary/Antonio Banderas musical. I would gladly have watched The Naughty Nine in the theater, but my Christmas gift this year is that the Disney Channel Original movie (DCOM) still lives on in streaming form. And the DCOM still delivers sneaky fun, memorable content.
In a surprise, here’s a Disney Christmas movie not about the good kids. No, this is about Andy Steele (Winslow Fegley) and Dulce Gutierrez (Camila Rodriguez), 5th grade troublemakers. Their antics usually lead to detention, landing them both on the naughty list, perennially. Mad that Santa has brought his sister Laurel (Madilyn Kellam) her perfect gift but shafted him again, Andy decides it’s time to head to the North Pole and steal the gifts for all the naughty kids and sell them for a tidy profit. So he recruits a team to execute this complex heist of the century.
Ocean’s Eleven for the North Pole. That’s a new one. And that exciting mixture of Christmas movie and heist movie makes The Naughty Nine so fun. The montage of putting the team together is adorable and clever. Besides the three kids above, we’ve got Jon Anthony Dizon (Deric McCabe), a 10 year old high maintenance clothing designer. Obviously we’re missing an animal whisperer, Rose (Clara Stack) an adorable child distraction Albert (Ayden Elijah) and a tech genius Lewis (Anthony Joo) necessary to not get caught by security. And of course there’s a getaway driver Ha-Yoon (Imogen Cohen) that’s 10 but an adult pilot named Bruno (Derek Theler) because, sure. Each little character introduction is wonderfully silly, and there’s enough tween bickering and speechifying to at least understand why each of these 9 would be motivated to execute this heist.
But The Naughty Nine only works if the heist is fun. Enter Alberto Belli the director: this movie’s Danny Ocean. Our introductory recapture of the Principal’s confiscated toys Belli uses classic heist editing to sell us on Andy and Dulce’s prowess as 10 year old thieves, but in a cute way that doesn’t hurt anyone just makes them look cool. Nice! Then we’re off to the North Pole with the bigger team, where Borelli makes the most out of his interesting sets. We know each of the 9 will have to be used for the heist to work, and like all heists, there’s flaws in the plan and sidetracking like, say, a hella fun post Christmas Elf rave? After some light krumping (kidding), we briskly (83 minutes, beautiful) get to Santa’s vault, but along the way, the movie is also sneakily weaving in an emotional undercurrent built around Andy and Laurel’s relationship, and how each changes during the heist. Because we’re having fun and we care, this makes the emotional payoff work.
And then we’re out! I hope The Naughty Nine inspires all the DCOM kids to form little skilled groups of their own. I picture it now: kids breaking into the cookie shelf above the fridge. Leading to teenagers finding clever ways to extract from the liquor cabinet. Then finally we’re stealing money from malls with our little person partner. OK, The Naughty Nine won’t do that, but it does show parents that the naughty list doesn’t have to be permanent, a lovely lesson in the season of joy and giving.