Movie Review: Jupiter Ascending
Movie Review: Jupiter Ascending

Movie Review: Jupiter Ascending

If halfway through making a film you realize the movie is kinda crappy, might as well make it as bonkers as possible right? Jupiter Ascending has some truly great visuals, and a complete reimagining of the world we live in. It also has an obscenely lengthy backstory, putrid plot developments, and piss poor character development. But it does have Channing Tatum in elf ears roller blading through the Chicago skyline. That was pretty sweet.

Jupiter is actually a reference to the title character (Mila Kunis), a poor janitor for the Windy City hotels. Before she realizes it, Jupiter gets captured by little aliens and rescued by Caine Wise (Channing Tatum). From there the entire world gets presented to her: she finds out she is related to the Abrasax family, which runs the entire universe. Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) seem open to meet her, but oldest Balem (Eddie Redmayne) sees her as a threat and wants her either removed or killed.

Normally I get sick of voiceovers to explain a movie’s world, but Jupiter Ascending could really use one. The Wachowski’s movies have been getting more long winded, and this one is no exception. The first hour and a half is spent explaining Jupiter’s universe, and even that only gives you a brief glimpse into the inner workings of this extensive complicated society. All of this explanation of rules leaves about 30-40 minutes to explain character dynamics, throw in some action sequences, and wrap up. As such, characters jump in and out of the plot and are left with zero complexity, which leads to a dissatisfying and rushed ending. Jupiter Ascending feels like an incomplete idea forced to completion by a studio exec.

Give the Wachowski’s credit though, all of the money for this movie’s massive budget manifests itself onscreen. The early CGI scenes around Chicago are some of the best in any era, fully utilizing the capabilities of the city’s landscape. The space scenes are fun, colorful and weird. The final battle makes great use of perspective and depth and looks great. Unfortunately, outside of Chicago, these battles/chases are generic and incoherent. It’s really hard to make a dust storm flight super visible.

Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum get one note to play. Tatum is fine, but Kunis get’s trapped by a crappy screenplay. She looks pretty when dressed opulently though, so that’s good I guess. Eddie Redmayne sounds like he’s recovering from strep throat with how ridiculous his voice sounds. Hell, even poor Sean Bean cannot live up to the Youtube montage of his characters in TV/film.

As a moviegoer, the Wachowski’s demand your attention. Their films are never boring; when they miss, you get something like Jupiter Ascending. When they’re on though, even Keanu Reeves cannot keep them down.

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