Movie Review: Robert Zemeckis’s Pinocchio
What happened? Disney took 3 things I usually love: Pinocchio, Tom Hanks, and director Robert Zemeckis, and somehow combined them into this unholy concoction that’s …
0.5 Star Reviews
Movie Review: Cats
Bad movies for me are usually total surprises. Rarely during a trailer will I be convinced a movie is going to be a disaster. So …
Movie Review: Secret Obsession
When you title your movie Secret Obsession, the bar is low. All you really have to be is fun, and kinda tense, and end in …
Movie Review: Avalanche Sharks
Sharknado set a dangerous precedent. Imitators like Avalanche Sharks will basically say: let’s take a natural disaster and animal and piece together a stupid movie …
Movie Review: Holmes and Watson
Holmes and Watson is yet another signifier that I am no longer a young person. There was a time where whenever Will Ferrell showed up, …
Movie Review: Suspiria
I should have seen this coming. Suspiria clocks in at a “brisk” 2 and a half hours. It stars a character playing dual gender roles; …
Movie Review: Sex and the City
[SPOILER ALERT] on a decade old movie. I have friends who worship Sex and the City. As a TV show, it deserves all sorts of …
Movie Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Before I even start, there will inevitably be SPOILERS. Batman v Superman (BvS) rides the coattails of comic book fans. DC Comics banks on millions …
Movie Review: Dumb and Dumber To
Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels used to be funny. The Farrelly Brothers used to direct great movies. Dumb and Dumber used to not have a …
Movie Review: Bachelorette
Bachelorette makes Bridesmaids look like The Wizard of Oz by comparison. When you take the chemistry of Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph away in favor …