Mini Reviews of Movies I Should Have Seen By Now…But Didn’t
This is for those of you who give me incredulous looks when I say I haven’t seen some famous film that you care about. Just know that I hear, you and I am working on it.
Below are 5 examples of me closing the gap, and my thoughts on those films.
What is it about?: German terrorists take over a Los Angeles skyscraper during Christmas, with only a divorced NYPD Cop around to save the day.
What makes the movie special?: GREAT, like all time great, title. Even more than that, this movie is a thrill ride most of the time, backing up its title with explosions, crazy gunplay, and smart characters. It’s easy to see why Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman became stars because of this movie. Willis nails John McClane, a wise cracking modern cowboy, giving him a real guy bravado action movies were missing (they used to be oiled up superhumans). Rickman is even better, acting like the calmest, coolest guy in the room. I think Speed is the better film, but I do acknowledge that Butch from Pulp Fiction, Severus Snape, and Family Matters all exist because of Die Hard, as well as countless action movie rip offs.
What is it about?: Perennial loner bachelor befriends the 12 year old son of a depressed mother, and both discover the need for “backup.”
What makes the movie special?: I really kinda thought I was going to hate this film. I don’t love Hugh Grant the way middle aged women do, and studio British romcoms in general rub me the wrong way. It starts off pretty crappy to, making you despise Hugh Grant and his women hating narcissism. Such is the surprise of this film, with a spectacular script from the American Pie guys, of all people (Nick Hornby’s novel might have something to do with that too)! After Hugh Grant and Nicholas Hoult start sharing scenes together, the movie takes off. Grant somehow wins you back over with his British charm, probably because it’s not focused on manipulating a woman into loving him. Hoult was one of many stars on the rise in this film (Toni Collette, Rachel Weisz), and proves one of my theories that Hoult’s presence makes any mTV show or movie he’s in better.
What is it about?: Daughter of a Chinese peasant disguises herself as a man in the Chinese army in hopes to stop an oncoming invasion.
What makes the movie special?: If I were a kid, Eddie Murphy’s Mushu the dragon would be hysterical and quoted over and over again. As an adult, he’s more Jar Jar Binks than Jiminy Cricket. However, the rest of Mulan is spectacular. The soundtrack has been stuck in my head for weeks now, and Make a Man Out of You is as good as any of the great Disney songs. The story is epically told, and backed up by some great battle sequences, including a breathtaking attack during an avalanche. This is a live action remake I’m more excited to see, in hopes they trust their story more and make a better film.
What is it about?: A British boy and an American Girl grow up and fall in love during the tumultuous 1960s, with a soundtrack of Beatles songs.
What makes the movie special?:Yesterday proved what most people already know: everyone loves the Beatles. This movie leans even harder than Yesterday did into the discography, at times feeling like a visual Beatles album. The movie tries to be ambitious in scope, giving us protests, Vietnam war sequences, and even drug trips. However, in order to fill in SO many songs, and SO many storylines across SO many continents, the characters are pretty thinly written, which makes the story grow longer and longer across its 2h15 minute runtime, and not in the good way.
What is it about?: Fresh out of prison, two brothers try to put on the best rhythm & blues show to save a Chicago orphanage.
What makes the movie special?: As a Chicago boy born and raised, it’s sacrilege that it took me this long to see the movie that’s widely regarded as one of the best showcases of the Windy City. John Landis, the Animal House director, certainly has a thirst for wanton destruction, as his car chases are more like enjoyably looney demolition derby. As for the story, well, Landis hopes Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi, with assists from Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and other great R&B music sequences, can just leave everyone with a good feeling leaving the theater, and some quotable lines to friends (“Orange Whip?”, “We’re on a mission from god”, and the legendary “There’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”). What surprised me the most with laughter was Carrie Fisher’s Mystery Woman, completely selling her vengeance via scowls and high powered weaponry.
