Good ol’ Michael Bay. Never change. Ambulance is very much in line with all of his other films, distilling American cinema into his crazy frenetic jingoistic hyper violent look at the American dream. Well buckle up America, because your in Bay world now, on a roller coaster Ambulance ride to end all Ambulance rides. CLEAR!
Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is an Army vet stuck living paycheck to paycheck. His wife needs experimental surgery for $230,000, which he obviously doesn’t have. Desperate to save his wife and mother to his child, Will reaches out to his “brother” from his youth Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal). Danny, the son of a famous bank robber, inherited daddy’s skills, and needs Will to do this bank robbery with him, netting Will millions of dollars. Will reluctantly agrees, and, as you’d expect, the job might go a little badly drawing the attention of police (Garret Dillahunt) and FBI (Keir O’Donnell) alike. That leads to people getting shot, which brings in EMT Cam Thompson (Eiza Gonzalez) and her ambulance onto the scene. Bay movie, engaged.
So what are the signs you’re in a Michael Bay movie? I’m glad you asked! It is a potent, delicate recipe of ramming contradictory things into a movie and hoping they work, cutting away second by second to keep the camera, the actors, and the audience completely disoriented all the time. American flags will be prominently placed, as well as beautiful shots of some place in the US (in this case, LA). In addition, there will be one horrifically offensive stereotype character that will get murdered somewhere in the middle. Thankfully this time it’s not a minority, but if you’re Greek/Italian, you will NOT like your portrayal here. Being ‘Murica, there’s got to be explosions right? But a simple well crafted explosion is not enough for Bay, who makes sure there are MANY explosions in Ambulance, in the most delirious, 12 year old boy’s dreams style way. In fact, every problem in this movie can be solve with some sort of violence, the American way. How do you sedate someone in an ambulance you are operating on? Easy, punch that bastard in the face and knock him out! Which brings me to maybe my favorite part of the Bay movie experience: undercutting all your emotional drama with unnecessary stupid jokes. After an intense car chase with the ambulance and several police cars, a cop is enraged to find that his dog was in one of the police cars: unnecessary, and just effing hilarious.
But for all of this delirious trash to work, the actors who sign on need to know what movie they’re signing up for, and play it exactly as a Michael Bay character. All credit to Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eiza Gonzalez, and Jake Gyllenhaal for their cool under Bay’s maniacal insanity. Abdule-Mateen II is your typical Michael Bay hero: remember, this is America, there has to be heroes. He plays the good hearted but down on his luck military veteran, who only uses his violence for good, even when he’s doing something horrifically bad, absolving him of any sin/complexity. Eiza Gonzalez is almost a perfect Bay heroine (the perfect one was Melanie Laurent from 6 Underground). Forged in the fires of saving people, Gonzalez is all about work and zero emotional attachment, while somehow through all these intense situations looking more beautiful by the minute, especially with a gun in her hands. But never have I seen someone so committed to a bay character than Jake Gyllenhaal. Not military, and constantly betraying people, the Bay villain Gyllenhaal is high on his own supply, and can’t be bothered to consider others before he considers himself, only using his violence for bad. A Bay villain is also an emotional loose cannon, set off at seemingly trivial things for no particular reason. Gyllenhaal fires f*cking fastballs in Ambulance, screaming one minute, deadpanning the next, listening to music to calm himself down during a HIGH SPEED AMBULANCE CHASE. It’s amazing work from great actor: I would argue some of the best of his career because of how much better Ambulance is with him in it.
And also like a Michael Bay movie, Ambulance is overlong 2 hours and 20 minutes of mayhem, easily 30 minutes too long. But in America, we always want more right? And Michael Bay, born free in Los Angeles California, is always here to remind us what makes us beautifully, horrifically American every glorious, terrifying minute onscreen. ‘MURICA!!!