Movie Review: Desperados

Nasim Pedrad, Anna Camp, and Sarah Burns are important contributors of some of the funnier moments of the last 20 years of comedy. It’s a shame that none of them have regular opportunities to be funny, because they’re so clearly good at it. And they have to go to Netflix, and someone who wrote for the Jamie Kennedy show and nothing since (YIKES!), to get a starring vehicle that clearly was written in 1983. I hope at least people will not even notice the horrible story because Pedrad, Camp, and Burns are making you gloss over everything with chuckles.

How aged can this story be you say? Well here we go: Nasim Pedrad plays Wesley, a thirtysomething basket case who can’t keep a job or a boyfriend. Womp womp. After being instadumped by Sean (Lamorne Morris), Wesley hides who she is to woo the hunky Jared (Robbie Amell). After dating for a month, Jared ghosts Wesley for a few days, leading her drunkenly emailing him a series of vicious insults, egged on by her equally drunk friends Brooke (Anna Camp) and Kaylie (Sarah Burns). However, Jared’s “ghosting” was him actually near death in a Mexican hospital. Away from his belongings to rest, Wesley, totally rationally, decides her best course of action is to go to Mexico with her BFFs and delete the email from Jared’s computer or phone directly.

Gaping plot holes and backwards gender politics ensue! Poor Nasim Pedrad deserves so much better than this. There’s a screenplay term called The Bechdel Test. Bascially the test is: there are 2 named female characters, and those characters have at least one scene where they talk about anything other than men. Wesley, and Desperados in general, fails this test miserably. Despite her desperate living situation and being jobless, her life totally revolves around finding a boy to cure all her problems. Not helping matters is Wesley’s insane logic and her friends willingness to go along with the material. When I could come up with 2 better solutions than the bullshit this movie selling in under 2 minutes, that’s a pretty tough way to get people to root for your main characters. Desperados continually disservices the talented cast by making their characters make stupid decisions to service the plot over and over again, in service of…having a girl find a boy which magically solves all her problems? Yessh, I guess female empowerment doesn’t exist in Desperados universe.

Again, it’s too bad, because Nasim Pedrad, Anna Camp, and Sarah Burns are such funny performers. The one good thing in the script is the comedy gags, which Pedrad does her damdest to sell and then some, shamelessly humiliating herself for everyone’s enjoyment. There’s a fearlessness to everything Pedrad does that deserves admiration and respect from the audience. While Pedrad is off in 1983, Anna Camp and Sarah Burns are actually in a decent storyline on their own. Camp owns the screen with a powerful presence where she demands respect, and watching her shoot down unworthy suitors is one of the movie’s highlights. Burns, the relative unknown, is great as an instigator and enthusiastic friend, diving deep into her new age California lifestyle and thrusting it onto Anna Camp. She’s also good at getting mad when the rug is pulled from her eyes, and throwing a fit.

I hope Netflix doesn’t lose sight of the forest for the trees. Keep giving Nasim Pedrad, Anna Camp, and Sarah Burns chances y’all. They’re real funny, and it’s only a matter of time before they strike total gold for you, given the chance. Let’s compromise at least: put them in a 1990s Julia Roberts vehicle for their next movie. I’d re up my subscription to see that!

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