The old action heroes get a little bit older in Expendables 3. Sly Stallone clearly loves an 80s macho shoot em up, and here he enlists help from the MMA Fighters, a tax evasion doctor, and Puss N Boots to fight Mad Max. Expendables 3 knows what it is, and does it competently. Competent action film: ugh, this is a tough sell.
Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) opens the film with his trusty friends in arms: Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Toll Road (Randy Couture), Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and Caesar (Terry Crews). They help free Doc (Wesley Snipes) from imprisonment and go to stop an illegal arms trade. However, running the trade is a ghost from Barney’s past, Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) who poses a giant threat to the old guys. With pressure from his client Drummer (Harrison Ford), Barney uses Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammar) to create a new team (including MMA elite Kellan Lutz, Glen Powell, Ronda Rousey and Victor Ortiz, and, weirdly, Antonio Banderas) to help fight Stonebanks. However, the tables quickly turn and Barney must call upon his old team to bail him out again.
Expendables 3 is about as predictable and safe as you can possibly get; shame on Sylvester Stallone. The movie starts out promising: the freeing of Wesley Snipes is interesting and fun involving a helicopter, train, and prison. All the while, the gang is wisecracking, snapping at each other with fun meta jokes. After that, Expendables 3 follows a pattern of botched mission, team tension, team rebuilding, new mission, repeat. By cramming two hour long missions into one movie, Expendables 3 forgoes the little moments for nonstop action, forgetting that the reason the first couple movies were fun was because of the wisecracking and macheesmo-off between the jacked dudes/dudettes. This movie throws moments in between the explosions and massive death toll (mostly involving Mel Gibson or Arnold Schwarzenegger), but because of the loud nonsense going on, you catch only part of the jabs.
Many of the issues with Expendables 3 involve Stallone’s screenplay contrivance fest. When one of his team members gets hurt, Barney forces the team members away because they’re “too old,” and the team barely puts up a fight despite years together. Barney is supposedly a really amazing tactician, but half of his plans are two steps: get somewhere, and shoot everyone in the way: heroic, but CRAZY stupid. In addition, at a point where he potentially captures Stonebanks, he fails to think the man would be wearing a tracker, and get rid of his electronics: just stupid. The worst sin Stallone writes though is how amazing EVERY member of his team is in the final act, including all the inexperienced ones. These people jump down several stories or fall far only to land without injury, and never get shot despite a small army including tanks hunting them down in a small building.
Acting was never the Expendables strong suit, but its in even less supply here. By adding more characters, the ones that get the most cheesy leave the greatest impression. Mel Gibson actually is pretty fun playing a very evil person, with his persona probably adding something to the performance. Harrison Ford plays an aged Han Solo type; a no-nonsense wisecracker who busts balls. Antonio Banderas injects life into the middle parts by being the fast-talking team member who doesn’t shut up. And believe it or not, Wesley Snipes funnily pokes fun at himself and his roles while looking slightly off, because of his prison stint. However, the main thrust of the story is Stallone and the MMA, who just look angry and sullen and bring nothing outside of fighting skills to the table.
Expendables 3 will probably please its target audience. Jacked up people laying waste to bad guys can be a fun time, I just wish any more thought was put into the story. My first correction would be NOT sidelining Terry Crews for most of the movie; I mean, that guy can do ANYTHING. Just sideline Randy Couture instead; no one would notice.