In some ways, you gotta admire Zack Snyder and his self-belief. He was so convinced of Rebel Moon’s power and brilliance he pitched it to Star Wars as THE new tale they had to tell. Undeterred after they said no, Snyder pushed forward, convincing Netflix to give him the $150 Mil+ and full directorial control over this project. I’m sure he’s convinced he nailed The Scargiver, the big epic conclusion of the battle for Veldt and the farmers of the world, leaving enough there for a Return of the Jedi conclusion if Netflix wants it. So I say this, Zack, only because I know you can take it and move on: no more Rebel Moon’s please? We’re good. Go on to your next big idea, and live that truth; you know your devotees will follow you anywhere.
We pick up The Scargiver pretty soon after the events of the first. The Rebel Alliance…nope, I think that one has been used before. The Seven Samurai…sorry, already taken. The Magnificent Seven…wait that too? Ok, the Plagiarized 7 for simplicity sake work their way back to Veldt, fresh off their victory over Admiral Atticus Noble’s (Ed Skrien) forces. The seven know the Motherworld is going to come after them, so they prepare the villagers for the upcoming fight of their lives. Titus (Djimon Hounsou) assumes command of the Veldters, preparing the battle plans. Tarak (Staz Nair) and Nemesis (Doona Bae) train the farmers in hand to hand combat, with Gunnar (Michiel Huisman) and Aris (Sky Yang) giving shooting lessons, with defected android Jimmy (Anthony Hopkins) watching from afar. And then there’s Kora (Sofia Boutella), now known to the Motherworld to be alive, trying to figure out how she can help take the fight to space inside the dastardly Dreadnaught spaceship that destroys planets.
The Scargiver feels less like a cohesive film and more like a list of items to finish before the story can end. You know, a chore. Other than Kora/Gunnar, we don’t get a lot of character development for any of these people in Part One. So, over endless female singers trying to outDune Dune, Snyder attempts to create relationships between the Plagiarized 7 and the Veldt Farmers. His big sequence is the “night before the fight” bonding, where Titus literally forces everyone to deliver their backstories before the big fight the next day. I laughed at how silly and crammed in this was, with the overqualified cast trying as hard as they can to make any of this work at all. And poor Ed Skrein is stuck essentially alone as the big bad on the spaceship, going through his Vader like transformation ready to fascist his way through Veldt.
The only reason I was mildly excited after Part One was this last hour of Part Two: the battle of Veldt I knew was coming. The sprawling cast of heroes splits up to make the battle everything Snyder wants it to be. We get intimate fighting, like Nemesis defending the mothers and children from sieging Motherworld forces with her lightsabers. And then we get the big stuff, with Titus leading the rebels in a counter strike, taking down all manner of mechanical space tanks, usually culminating in big ass explosions that Snyder was born to make look at least pretty cool. It’s obvious we’re in front of green screens the whole time, but the actors sell the sh*t out of this, though a hopeless look as they plummet to a planet below, or a euphoric yell as they charge on the Empire er, Motherworld forces. Snyder makes sure we see the best stuff, slo-moing to capture a Djimon Hounsou or Sofia Boutella money shot looking cool in an epic battle. But when all you really have by the end is a “cool shot” the whole experience ends up pretty hollow, and ultimately unsatisfying.
At least Netflix did the right thing giving Snyder director’s cut privileges. No matter what I might think of his creativity, there’s enough devoted fans of his that would becry the streamer if they didn’t let their director hero cook. So let that be a warning to anyone wanting to partner with Zack: if you don’t give him final cut, you’re going to have to make a 4 hour version of a movie you already made, just to satisfy the true believers, where the Flash enters the Speed Force for approximately 2.5 hours.