Christmas movies are a cottage industry now. We know there’s gonna be a zillion Hallmark movies, a Netflix slate, maybe a broad comedy, and a darling indie version. All that was missing this year was the horror movie. I had low expectations for the Silent Night, Deadly Night remake. I think I need to start going into movies cynically hoping they suck, because when that happens, I come out more impressed than I thought, very much true here. In the death match between this and The Baltimorons for best Christmas movie this year, my money’s on the Santa Claus with the axe.
For those who don’t know the 1984 film, poor 8 year old Billy Chapman (Rohan Campbell) has to witness Charlie (Mark Acheson), a psycho in a Santa outfit, murder his parents on the side of the road. A horrific event like that doesn’t exactly leave you. In fact, Charlie has stayed with Billy since that moment, living inside his head as Billy grows up into an adult, moving from town to town, filling an advent calendars worth of “naughty” murders every year on the DL. This latest spree starts in Hackett. At first Billy is just going through the same Santa’s slay as before. But then he meets Pam (Ruby Modine), daughter of local antiques shop owner Mr. Sims (David Lawrence Brown). He becomes smitten, not exactly thrilling Charlie, who reminds Billy there’s, um, a more important job to be done.
I would make the argument the 2025 Silent Night, Deadly Night remake should be taught to anyone interested in becoming a screenplay writer. The movie opens giving the people what they want: those gross, over the top gory murders with a maniac in a Santa Claus costume, wielding an axe, blood spewing everywhere, and a disturbing voice baiting the killer on, with that demented advent calendar. And then the onion starts peeling. Each new scene reveals some new information the audience previously didn’t know. Huh…everyone will go, and start to rethink what they previously saw. And then another new scene upending again, and again. The story does this so the ending can unfold the way Mike P. Nelson needs it to, but in order for it to work, he has to earn it, which he does with really smart storytelling under the guise of gruesome murder. Now if that doesn’t encapsulate the horror movie fans in 2025, I don’t know what does!
And props to the cast for really giving it their all. Rohan Campbell’s presence was pretty reviled in Halloween Ends, but it wasn’t because of him. Now unburdened by beloved lore, he does great work as Billy Chapman here. You really feel like he could have been in the Venom movies, the way he’s talking to himself and playing multiple people inside one body. Matching him beat for beat is Ruby Modine. A solid vet of knowing horror movies, Modine has a blast playing essentially the romantic lead of this movie, a near impossible feat she pulls off the minute she beats the crap out of a 10 year old kid with a hockey stick. If I were Billy, I would have fallen in love with Pam right then an there too. The third in this love triangle it Mark Acheson. The actor has to convince everyone with his voice that he’s really there with Billy, secretly pulling the puppet strings. Everything he does here is magnificent, turning what should have been a sadistic one note serial killer into maybe one of the better arcs of the movie?
And if that doesn’t work, at least the kills are still there for the sickos. Christmas is a season to be jolly and joyous, and have room in your heart for everyone. I don’t know if I had a bipolar disordered Santa Claus killer, and twisted antiques shop clerk on by gifts list. But alas, Silent Night, Deadly Night pushed their way to the front of the line, threatening everyone with an axe to get there and ask for forgiveness. I’m grossed out…and maybe sneaky turned on? What is happening?