Christmas movies come in many flavors. There’s the Vancouver based Hallmark ones, about an overworked woman meeting a small town quirky jobbed man. There’s the old star resurrecter, like putting many Vanessa Hudgens’s in a Princess Switch. There’s the eff you movie that spits on everything Christmas stands for. There’s the family movie, sometimes animated sometimes not. And the faith based movie for the Christians. The Baltimorons doesn’t neatly fit into any of those categories, but, like Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point a year ago, gives us maybe a new type of Christmas indie we can get once or twice this holiday season.
After his life bottomed out, Cliff Cashen (Michael Strassner) has steadied the ship. He’s engaged to Brittany (Olivia Luccardi), about to head over to her family for Christmas Eve Dinner. But our wonderful idiot Cliff slips on the step and hits his face on the wall, losing a tooth. Christmas Eve isn’t the best time for this, but fortunately, Didi (Liz Larsen) opens her shop for Cliff, and gets the work done. But, if you park in a tow zone and no bus is running, you might need to spend a little more time with that doctor than you maybe bargained for.
And so begins a strange, adorable romance. Michael Strassner and Liz Larsen are an unlikely pairing, but when you’ve got it you’ve got it. The two bounce off each other wonderfully, finding a perfect match in the other. The no nonsense Didi enjoys Cliff’s light hearted silliness, making her smile for the first time in a long time. Cliff gets direct communication and a fresh perspective from Didi, who can disconnect his drinking and his comedy from each other. The script manufactures their time together, but the dialogue feels honest. I know many women when told they are pretty would make a hand gesture and go “oh stop that” like Didi does. I’m not the hot mess Cliff is, but I see the world like him, looking for the funny moments inside the situation I’ve found myself a part of. Jay Duplass’s movie gives each of its stars a chance to show their worth, and time for the audience to warm up to the attraction the strange movie pair feel for one another, hoping others will see what he did when he put Michael and Liz onscreen together. If you’re not swooning by the end of The Baltimorons, frankly you were not meant to enjoy Christmas this year, sorry.
But that central relationship is not the only reason The Baltimorons is special. It is part of what I hope becomes a new Christmas movie trend: “Christmas in _____”. No matter what type of movie is going on, the film’s location has to play a central part in the story, capturing the essence of what it’s like to be in that place. I’ve never been to Baltimore before, but I can feel Michael Strassner’s affection for his home in his screenplay. The city’s presence is central to the story’s success. It’s not just because we use key locations from the city like the 34th Street Christmas Lights or the Harbor. It’s deeper than that. I feel like I got a home movie from a day in the life there, a brief insight into the wonderful mixture of characters that make a place what it is. Not everyone is a movie star with mansions, but instead everyone brings something wonderfully human and recognizable to the table. It’s joy. It’s lunacy. It’s exasperation. It’s…Christmas in Baltimore, and we’re all lucky to see a small part of it.
IFC, let’s keep this going. I’d love winter in a warm climate next. Miami Christmas? That’s bound to have some interesting tales. San Antonio Christmas on the riverwalk? That sounds magical. Christmas in Gary Indiana? Ok, that’s a horror movie. But I’d even want to see that one. The Baltimorons is your template: let’s see how far we can go with it.