I’m onto your game Disney. You have to bring something different storywise to the table in your live action remakes, or else to me your movie is pointless cash grab. While I appreciate the representation updates, 2023’s The Little Mermaid is the same story as the original. So unless you need Ursula themed drag ideas or rapping birds, don’t waste your time.
For the uninitiated, Ariel (Halle Bailey) is the youngest mermaid daughter of King Triton (Javier Bardem), who rules under the sea. Ariel dreams for life above the sea, and becomes smitten with Eric (Jonah Hauer-King, a spitting image of Ryan Gosling in this movie), a well meaning seafaring human whom she saves from a shipwreck. After Triton demands Ariel remain underwater, she goes to Triton’s sea witch sister Ursula (Melissa McCarthy), who promises to let her be a human but must abandon her incredible voice. Crab Sebastian (Daveed Diggs), Flounder the fish (Jacob Tremblay), and dimwit bird Scuttle (Awkwafina), join forces to help Ariel try to get her voice back and hopefully, fall in love.
Trailers made this movie look like dark, ugly garbage. So to my surprise the first 30 minutes or so were a sunny, beautiful delight. It’s no Avatar The Way of Water, but at least its fun and exciting, and might inspire kids to research underwater animals. Helping matters are Rob Marshalls disorienting but fun directing, swimming underwater with Ariel, and Halle Bailey’s incredible voice. All the best songs in The Little Mermaid happen in the first 30 minutes, including the big dramatic Part of Your World, which slays in 2023 like it did in 1989.
The problem is there’s still another hour and a half. Yes, this movie adds 30 minutes to the film. 30. Pointless. Minutes. While I understand the attempt to humanize Eric and parallel his story with Ariels, maybe change the beats of the story yeah? Instead, we get the same story beats as the 1989 film. Particularly shameful is the big climactic showdown, which is one of the ugliest, incoherent things Disney has ever put onscreen. So what did we need those 30 minutes for? 3 underwhelming Lin Manuel Miranda songs I guess. The mild saving grace is Halle Bailey, who’s as charming when she sings as when she doesn’t.
So what did we learn here? Halle Bailey’s great I guess. But it’s telling I was more excited watching social media videos of little black girls excited to see a Disney princess that looks like them than actually seeing that princess in action. I know you can do better Disney. I’ll reiterate my point, maybe remake some of your bad movies instead of the classics, fixing their problems. Maybe try the Sword in the Stone? It’s ok, but could be better.