I wouldn’t say I was eagerly anticipating a Magnificent Seven Remake, but I wasn’t dreading it. I mean, the original came out 56 years ago. And Denzel leading the reboot? His Training Day director and co-star joining him? AND CHRIS PRATT?!?!?!?? I was ready to love this movie, and very intrigued. With inflated expectations, The Magnificent Seven is underwhelming, but it will deliver with truth to advertising.
The mining town of Rose Creek in the West is ruled by Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard) with an iron fist, killing multiple residents that voice dissent to his reign. Desparate and widowed, Emma (Haley Bennett) ventures to other towns in search of revenge-for-hire bounty hunters. She starts with Chisolm (Washington), one of the quickest draws in the West. Chisolm then assembles the other 6: drunk Faraday (Chris Pratt), quickdraws Goodnight Robicheaux (Ethan Hawke) and his partner Billy Rocks (Byung-hun Lee), bear man Jack Horne (Vincent D’Onofrio), Texican Vasquez (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), and Native American Red Harvest (Martin Sensmeier). The Seven venture to Rose Creek, overtake the town, and prepare for Bogue’s soon-coming army.
Let’s see if this movie checks off what you want it to do. Denzel as a tortured hero: CHECK. Director Antoine Fuqua loves that Washington is his muse; the director places him front and center in his many hero shots. Sunrise? Sunset? Alone staring down an army? Firing a gun with one foot riding a horse? Yep, nailed it. Denzel and Ethan Hawke channeling their Training “Day”s: CHECK. Other than Pratt, Hawke gets most of the repartee with Denzel. Witty banter from/between Hawke, Pratt, and Washington: CHECK PLUS. The saving grace of this Magnificent Seven is the funny lines sprayed throughout the film, Pratt’s intro in particular. Evil bad guy? CHECK. Sarsgard opens the film destroying a chruch, pretty evil right? And finally, a shootout of epic proportions with big moments for the heroes? CHECKMATE. That battle could have been an hour and a half long; didn’t notice because of the glee from the awesome kill shots, explosions and random wisecracks. Magnificent Seven at least understands better than most movies, sometimes you just gotta give the people what they want.
However, it’s pretty telling that when I left the theater, and when emotional stuff goes down, I felt nothing. That’s because there’s nothing to most of these characters after their intros. And sadly, we have a Suicide Squad situation of too many characters to cram into a story. Other than Hawke, Pratt, and Washington, and Vincent D’Onofrio, the other 3 of the 7 get little to do other than react to the top billed actors, and have a trait that’s racially minority based. In addition, only Hawke gets some sort of character arc that was impactful. Other than Hayley Bennett, the townspeople are a whole lot of white mass to be executed by Bartholomew Bogue. Speaking of the villain, Sarsgaard is eating scenery like a dog, the only saving grace being the adept thespian dials it down just a bit to distinguish between power crazy and helpless crazy. If the script dialed down the funny just a bit to give us more detail on the 7 or the town, then this movie would have been a strong update to a terrific story. As such, it’s instantaneously forgettable after you watch it.
That being said, Magnificent Seven will have a terrific TV afterlife. There’s enough starpower, jokes, and action to make this movie potentially a rewatchable favorite. However, it will never be appointment viewing at any point for a cable network. But, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t sit down and watch as Denzel strolls out to meet that army on his horse with his black uniform and killer hat.