For those who blanket memory holed The Old Guard, it was actually a pretty fun attempt Netflix made at making a superhero movie. And what do you do when you have a superhero movie hit! Even Netflix isn’t above Disney or the MCU, so they decided to franchise it! Meaning here comes The Old Guard 2, five years later. Netflix clearly wants a trilogy out of this, but if 2 is any indication, maybe The Old Guard should just be one of the lone bright spots of the 2020 dumpster fire.
Things are pretty much where they left off at the end of The Old Guard. Andy (Charlize Theron) is still powerless, but intent on her mission to help clear the world of bad people, dutifully leading Joe (Marwan Kenzari), Nicky (Luca Marinelli), James (Chiwetel Ejiofor), and newest comer Nile (KiKi Layne). But any existential worries have to be put aside: OG superhuman Discord (Uma Thurman) has returned from hiding. She’s not alone either; Discord joins forces with Quynh (Veronica Ngo), Andy’s friend/paramour millennia ago, who use the disgraced Booker (Matthia Schoenaerts) to reveal where Andy and her colleagues are hiding. I’m guessing not to let bygones be bygones.
The great Gina Prince-Bythewood directed the first Old Guard. No offense to Victoria Mahoney, but Bythewood’s special talents are absent from this sequel. This film gets real languid, real quick, content to live in lore land. I like Henry Golding, but having him spend 30-40 minutes explaining theories to the other “immortals”, just to explain away random plot holes we know are coming very quickly after, is not the best choice for a movie on a streaming service. One of my hands was forcibly stopping the other from picking up my phone multiple times, because The Old Guard 2 bores you a bit into succumbing to phone temptations. Only one newcomer and one old member are remotely of interest as characters here, since this movie is clearly set up for what Netflix hopes to be the thrilling conclusion, getting pieces into place. The Old Guard 2 follows the Matrix trajectory, using a surprising first film to greenlight a 2nd without a great new idea, resulting in a movie that’s hard to justify its own existence.
There are some bright spots here and there. The opening action sequence is hella fun, raiding a compound featuring car chases as well as some great hand to hand combat. Charlize Theron’s character is dumb in this movie, but the actress has lost none of her versatile skill set, kicking butt just like she’s done in various action films of the past. Uma Thurman: bad guy is fun, using those menacing eyes and facial expressions to anti-Bride us. And even in the slog sections, you still have KiKi Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts, Henry Golding, and a bunch of other overqualified actors actually trying and covering for a thin script.
So maybe The Old Guard 2…is a success? The first one was too good that it made you pay attention. This worse sequel walks that “pay attention when you want to” line much better, letting the couch surfers come and go as the explosions and cool actors happen. It’d be nice if Charlize Theron got a chance to make another good film some day though, y’all. I maintain no one is as multi-faceted as she is…let’s let her cook in something good again so the world can be reminded of it too.