Toy Story for pets. That concept sounds potentially extraordinary. And The Secret Life of Pets is done by the Minions group, Illumination Entertainment, so they know what they’re doing. The premise IS foolproof: The Secret Life of Pets is pretty fun. It’s just not extraordinary, which is disappointing.
The main plot of The Secret Life of Pets is dog Max (Louis C.K.) having to share his owner Katie (Ellie Kemper) with new adopted dog Duke (Eric Stonestreet). The two skirmish and wind up being tracked by a psychopathic ownerless adorable white bunny (Kevin Hart) and his cronies. In addition, Max’s neighbor dog Gidget (Jenny Slate) goes in search of Max with her friends cat Chloe (Lake Bell), dog Mel (Bobby Moynihan), and hawk Tiberius (Albert Brooks).
Kids have clearly been thought of for this image of the city. The Secret Life of Pets New York City is as beautiful as any CGI’ed city I’ve seen. It is a vibrant pet-loving Mecca replete with fall colors in all seasons, no trash on the streets, and Ratatouille looking mice. The sewers haven’t looked this much fun since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Each animal’s rough edges are smoothed out, presumably for marketing reasons. I’m envisioning rides at The Secret Life of Pets amusement park using this NYC as a backdrop.
I also am glad they set up this nice backdrop, because it distracts from the contractually obligated script and (mostly) characters. The Secret Life of Pets promises the creation of some sort of inner world these pets live under, and the NYC high-rise is an interesting choice to set up a new world. And after the opening sequence and one party sequence, we get….a mismatched buddy comedy instead. That in and of itself is fine: Toy Story unfolded the same way. However, Toy Story had established the inner workings of its society before it set apart Woody and Buzz. The Secret Life of Pets two crammed-together stories shortchange the necessary world building of either plotline, and leave the movie just a series of funny vignettes built on a foundation of Coney Island cotton candy.
The biggest gaping hole here is the two leading buddies suck. Max is melbatos: a big bland nothing, and Duke is there for plot service (the plot waffles him between boorish and super sad). The argument’s between the two are forced and except for one attempted back story, we feel nothing for either of them as the story goes on. Fortunately, the sidekicks pick up the slack a bit. Kevin Hart’s psychotic bunny unleashes the talents of the comedian, using manic energy toward chaos and destruction in a kid-friendly way. There’s just enough that Hart isn’t overused, and in fact makes the by-the-numbers road trip exciting. Jenny Slate makes me wonder why the movie wasn’t built more around Gidget. Slate taps into the dog’s obsession over Max and combines it with unbridled enthusiasm to the extreme, potently making me cheer for the happy ending for Gidget’s sake, not for Max’s. Plus that enthusiasm plays like gangbusters across from Albert Brooks’s devious hawk and Lake Bell’s dry feline. With more focus on the life inside the apartment, The Secret Life of Pets really could have done something really amazing instead of ho-hum.
None of this matters though. Kids will love the colors in this movie, and moreover, pet-lovers will get a montage right at the end that will probably make them cry a little bit. What’s sad to me is that I was ready to be moved like the target audience, and I was just pandered to, somewhat condescendingly. Is Kevin Hart available? Maybe I can get his little bunny to “lecture” the movie’s creators a little bit.