The problem with retelling a story as famous as Cinderella is the fear of audience alienation. Stray too far from the main tale, and the traditional fans would lock you in the basement like Cinderella’s Stepmother. Simply retell the original tale and the angry keystrokes of movie critics eviscerate your movie. This Cinderella, like Kenneth Branagh’s, makes some tweaks to the tale but keeps the main points largely in tact, leading to a similarly ok but forgettable experience. Except for Billy Porter, because, I mean, who could ever forget Billy Porter?
Kay Cannon’s version of this tale is a Camila Cabello vehicle, er, horse drawn carriage. Put upon by her step sisters (Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer) and stepmother (Idina Menzel), Cinderella kindly but sadly goes through the daily motions of her life, hoping to be somebody. Her chance comes in the form of Robert (Nicholas Galitzine), son of the King (Pierce Brosnan) and Queen (Minnie Driver) of the realm, and heir to the throne, who enjoys Cinderella’s spirit and entrepreneurship. He likes it so much he convinces his sister Gwen (Tallulah Grieve) to wear a Cinderella dress to a ball where he will pick a bride, with Cinderella as the frontrunner. Cue some evil stepmom shenanigans, a fabulous Godmother (Billy Porter), glass slippers, James Corden, and some singing and dancing and maybe even a happily ever after.
Young Kay Cannon must have been enamored with Moulin Rouge; this Cinderella opts for the Baz Luhrmann model musical. That means pop songs and pizazz! The movie is at its best when it’s a super breezy sing-a-long of great songs you can introduce to your kids: Material Girl, Seven Nation Army, Somebody to Love. The movie comes alive in those numbers, using the elaborate sets and costumes to keep everything propelling forward. Not every song works (the “woke” hip hop sections feel ickily pandering), but they’re never too long, and pretty soon we’re off and running to the next famous hit, wondering what we’ll be singing along to next. Like Luhrmann, Cannon also gives us big supporting performances in small but memorable doses. Billy Porter slays his one big scene and he’s out. James Corden, who previously torpedoed a couple musicals, has about 5 minutes he is actually delightful in then he’s a CGI mouse, and Idina Menzel uses that big voice and underrated acting talent to prove that the stepmother might have been the most interesting character in Cinderella’s story.
For those who don’t know, Kay Cannon at her best can be one of the funniest people around, writing/directing 30 Rock Episodes, Pitch Perfect, and Blockers for example. She proved with those other projects she’s a great collaborator who can extract the best out of her actors, so I was excited to see how unproven Camila Cabello would be elevated. However, I think Camila Cabello left half of her heart in Havana…na na na…instead of fully committing to Kay Cannon’s 2021 retelling. Cabello just doesn’t have the acting instincts to pull off this part, looking like she’s in one of her music videos. Cannon tries by letting Cabello be herself, but that snarky, klutzy condescending personality Cabello gives Cinderella would be better served as a supporting character than Cinderella, which tonally throws off the entire movie and ruins any chance of emotional resonance or romantic chemistry she might have had with Nicholas Galitzine. Because of this Cannon probably had to rejigger the entire movie to make the most of her situation, resulting in scene shuffling that musically show off people but emotionally stunt the movie in the process. That means any attempts at modernizing the ending fall flat, having been ruined by the inconsistent story preceding it.
Cinderella is…fine, and forgettable. From all the possible scenarios for this movie to go, hey, it could be worse. Camila Cabello will go back to being a great singer. Billy Porter will win a Tony or Emmy for Supporting Actor, Idina Menzel will get another Disney hit single, Kay Cannon will write another hit movie or TV show, and James Corden will find another musical to ruin. No one will remember this wonderfully hidden Amazon Prime release around the end of summer void, except some kid bored of the Disney sing a longs who browses through Amazon to find this one. And hey, at least parents will get a chance to introduce their kids to Queen, Madonna, and Earth, Wind and Fire songs!
Totally agree!