The original title of this movie was John Carter of Mars, which is at least an interesting title and puts the story in context. John Carter is confusing, bland, and off-putting, like the movie itself. The original story is the inspiration for movies like Star Wars. John Carter has those seeds, but they get lost in CGI wonderlands, a middling plot, and poor character development. John Carter needs to go back and rediscover its origins.
The story is dictated by Edgar Rice Burroughs (Daryl Sabara; Burroughs in reality is the author of this story) via Carter’s journal. The Civil War has just ended. John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) was an important general – for the losing side. After fleeing his summons to aid the US government, Carter stumbles upon a portal that transfers himself to Mars (Barsoom). He is a rare species there: his bone density gives him exaggerated jumping ability, which attracts the attention of the local species: Tharks, and their leaders Tars Tarkas (voice of Willem Dafoe) and Tal Hajus (Voice of Thomas Haden Church).
Meanwhile, the Martian city of Helium is continuing its endless war with the city of Zodanga. The Therns (whose leader is played by Mark Strong), interdimensional planetary travelers and manipulators, decide to give a weapon to Sab Than (Dominic West), the leader of Zodanga so he can end the war and marry the daughter of the leader of Helium, Deja Thoris (Lynn Collins). The princess escapes with the aid of Carter; she tells him that she will guide him down the sacred river to help him get back home.
That is obviously a lot to set up for one story, and John Carter as a result is a bloated picture. Much of the backstory is rushed, making hollow shells of both stories. The Therns, the most interesting part of the story, are barely explored because of the war and John Carter’s backstory. Their weaponry and prowess are left to the viewer’s imagination: going in, I was unaware how powerful they truly were: their weapons could conjure up immense explosions but Carter dispatches of a Thern easily early in the proceedings. The warring cities’ leaders, with the exception of Deja Thoris, are left underexplored. Sab Than is set up to be a stooge for the Therns and is uninteresting. The relationship between Tars Tarkas and Tal Hajus is loosely brought up but not given time to develop into anything meaningful. Even John Carter is thinly sketched. The change he goes through feels forced and unearned since little of his backstory is told by the time he reaches Mars. The bright spot is Lynn Collins’s Thoris, who is a beacon of energy, looks, brains, and determination. She is a fitting science fiction heroine.
The best thing John Carter has going for it is its imagery and CGI. The views of Mars give the story a nice Western motif, with the added dimension of two warring space cities (“this planet ain’t big enough for the two of us”). The Tharks are nicely rendered, including a Roman Coliseumesque battle to the death and a pet that has the looks of a bulldog with the speed of a greyhound. The sinister nature of the Therns is executed well on the CGI side: their weapons can be truly devastating. Even minimal stuff like John Carter learning to jump is pretty fun to watch. However, logic does intervene in these sequences. With so many impressive spaceships and weapons, why do most creatures resort to sword fighting, and why is jumping so heavily treasured?
As our hero, Taylor Kitsch is fine, but ultimately forgettable. This is not Kitsch’s fault: he is fully immersed; however a better actor and certainly a better script may have drawn more out of the character to make us care. The other actors mentioned are also ultimately forgettable. I cared more about the pet than any of the Tharks or leaders. Lynn Collins, when on screen, draws attention to herself as previously stated.
Andrew Stanton, who directed classic Pixar movies Finding Nemo and WallE, looks out of his element with live action. Using computers, he can manipulate images to his liking. People are harder to control. John Carter has all the makings of an epic adventure, but it ultimately falls short of its goal. Maybe Stanton should go back to the animated world, and Taylor Kitsch can go back to high school football. However, I request Lynn Collins remain in this world and transplanted to a better movie.