Disney is hoping for people to write as many positive baseball puns as it can about Million Dollar Arm. This family film, when focused on the two Indian baseball prospects, delivers with heartfelt emotion and catharsis. Frustratingly, Disney spends more time with JB Bernstein (Jon Hamm), the Caucasian agent who learns to be a father to these kids.
JB’s startup agency just lost out on its biggest client. With nowhere else to turn, he and his partner (Aasif Mandvi) pitch a competition called Million Dollar Arm to find the first baseball player from India. JB travels to India with veteran scout Ray (Alan Arkin) and brings back winners Rinku (Suraj Sharma) and Dinesh (Madhur Mittal) and their translator Amit (Pitobash). The two prospects train under coach Tom House (Bill Paxton) to try to achieve the dream of a major league contract. JB of course screws up along the way, and is kept in line by his tenant Brenda (Lake Bell) who reminds JB of the burdens and pressures these kids have to deal with.
Million Dollar Arm’s screenplay picks the wrong story. I’m pretty sure being uprooted from a small Indian village and placed into a different country trying to learn a sport you never played is VASTLY more interesting than a well off sports agent who’s failing at a startup but learns to love his clients as people instead of as a business. In addition, with TWO kids and a translator going through the same culture shock, Million Dollar Arm could provide a range of reactions and feelings to their joint circumstances for a much richer narrative. Instead, the screenplay chooses the easy way out by making JB put his business before his kids more than a few times with Brenda sweeping in and fixing the situation. Similarly, we only get highlights of India like crazy food and the Taj Mahal instead of the plethora of strange customs Indians exhibit. Million Dollar Arm, by talking down to its audience, comes off boring and repetitive more often than not.
However, the pieces of the boys’ story that make it into Million Dollar Arm hit right in the heart. The story makes it so easy to root for them: they work hard and only want to please others, values instilled by their religion and family. Their sheer innocence and joy makes each pain they experience minorly heartbreaking, and each success an exhilarating triumph. The most impressive piece of Million Dollar Arm’s screenplay is Amit, the translator. It is immediately clear the story wants him to be the comic relief, using his excitement and passion for baseball as a joke. However, his genuine personality wins you over; his pep talk to the boys before a big tryout is the film’s highlight. Million Dollar Arm’s screenplay gets a lot wrong, but when the film is hitting its climax, you find yourself hoping for the best anyway because the Indians are so damn likable.
Jon Hamm leaves Don Draper on Mad Men to do Don Draper for baseball. He’s fine as a lead, only failed by the screenplay. There’s not a lot of chemistry with Lake Bell, but they’re fun together in the scenes they have. At least Bell isn’t relegated to just love interest; she is also smart. Alan Arkin has mastered grumpy old man at this point; he kinda mails it in. Bill Paxton is good in a role that needed more screentime. India’s finest win the day here. Aasif Mandvi and Darshan Jariwala are very funny as JB’s business associates, getting a joke a second. Pitobash’s Amit finds the emotion beneath laughing at him, so by the end we cheer with him. Life of Pi’s Suraj Sharma captures the joy of being in a new place very well, while Slumdog Millionaire’s Madhur Mittal showcases the burdens and fears of being somewhere foreign more deeply than he has business doing.
Million Dollar Arm wants us to be happy and doesn’t hide it. You instantly know where this story is going and don’t care because these kids deserve it. Whew. I got through this whole review without using any baseball puns: striking out, home run, thrown a curve ball, swing and a miss, wild pitch, foul ball…