Movie Review: Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire
Movie Review: Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire

Movie Review: Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire

I love the double confidence going on here. Zack Snyder’s self-belief on all his 2-2.5 star 11 year old boy fantasia projects is how we get his big swings like Rebel Moon or a decade of DC comic book universe building. I like Netflix’s confidence too, giving full confidence to a guy who torpedoed some of the most legendary can’t miss superhero characters of all time. If I had to guess what an unchecked Zack Snyder space opera would end up like, Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire is pretty close. I’ll give Snyder this: at least he’s grown up a little bit since Sucker Punch.

Snyder flies us to the Motherworld (with no motherboxes, sadly, in this universe). Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein), a military commander under the command of tyrant Balisarius (Fra Free), has landed on planet Veldt. Noble believes that the Bloodaxe rebel faction hiding here in a farming community, run by Sindri (Corey Stoll), and terrorizes the community until they spill where the Bloodaxe leaders Darrian (Ray Fisher) and Devra (Cleopatra Coleman) are. It is as this point Kora (Sofia Boutella), a space orphan who’s made Veldt her home, starts to take action, protecting the town. She and her reluctant best friend Gunnar (Michiel Huisman) see they have no choice, and seek out these rebel leaders to save their little farming community from the grips of the Empire, er the Motherworld.

Giant tyrannical regime. Rebel scum. Bounty hunters. Farmers. The chosen one. Can you tell why Snyder pitched Rebel Moon to Star Wars producers in hopes to make this a franchise? I would have loved to have been in that room, watching Kathleen Kennedy whisper to the other executives: “Why is this dude pitching Star Wars to us? We made this in 1977.” After about 30 minutes of Rebel Moon I could predict every move of this tale since I saw Luke Skywalker do it 30 years ago, but even I was shocked at how plagiarized Snyder’s “vision” is. At one point, the great Doona Bae shows up, and literally pulls out two red lightsabers, where I burst out laughing and said “PFFFFT, OK, Zack, whatever.” Also not helping, Snyder’s dialogue makes George Lucas look like a Pulitzer Prize winner. Everyone talks in bullet points, speaking exactly what the plot says they’re supposed to say. Even great actors like Bae, Djimon Hounsou, and the great Anthony Hopkins can’t remove the 4 cheese with extra provolone space pizza Snyder’s serving the audience here. I wouldn’t mind this if Rebel One was meant for 5 year olds, but there’s all sorts of brutal violence and near sexual assaults, meaning Snyder must have meant for near adult teenagers to be watching his movie? Since it’s coming out at Christmas, maybe he meant for people to drunkenly turn this on at 3 AM after a night bar hopping at home, needing something easy to follow before they drunkenly pass out on the couch?

I don’t think they’ll do this, but I do wonder, if Netflix took a chance and tried to make Rebel Moon a silent film, with dialogue cards, would it be better? Because like ever, Director Zack Snyder’s best feature is his eye for terrific imagery. I’ve seen plenty of bad movies with bad dialogue that I’d either turn off immediately, fall asleep in, or pull out my phone during. And yet, I didn’t want to look away from Rebel Moon. Snyder has this magnetic power over his audience’s eyes to give them something epic that keeps them glued to their seats. Whether it be his Snyder action (fast-slowmo-fast) or his understanding of scope (the big action sequences really do feel hella big), Snyder’s magical powers at least keep people waiting for the next great action sequence or montage so the characters can stop talking and the director can cast his spell on the unsuspecting streamer.

I think I get the metaphor now. Zack Snyder is Mango from SNL. But instead of 90’s club hits, Snyder uses brown/blue washed visual splendor to seduce and win over the people in his orbit. Hopefully Part 2, which comes out in 2024, is all battle sequences, and you got all the dialogue set up out of the way Zack. I’m on board, just stop talking.

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