In some ways, Red Notice deserves some applause. In this movie time of hard hitting, deep dramatic storytelling films going hard for Oscars, Red Notice basically swerves in the opposite direction. Content to try to be silly and fun, the Rock, Gal Gadot, and Ryan Reynolds work that Netflix Algorithm to perfection. What does that mean? Red Notice is something you turn on, realize you have something else to do, and forget to turn it off, only turning your head when there’s an explosion or someone is in a tux or dress, shrug, and then go back to what you’re doing.
A Red Notice is the highest threat level a person can get from Interpol. Jewel thief Nolan Booth (Ryan Reynolds) is rising the ranks of Interpol’s most wanted list, runner-up currently to Sarah Black (Gal Gadot). Those two set eyes on their latest conquest: the 3 bejeweled eggs Marc Anthony gave to Cleopatra, which would net them millions. Tracking their every move is FBI agent John Hartley (Dwayne Johnson) and Interpol agent Urvashi Das (Ritu Arya), intent on keeping those eggs in a museum where they belong.
Red Notice is a joke without a punchline. The set ups are all there: we have spectacular locales, gorgeous clothes and people, and explosions/fights every 20 minutes or so, plus the threat of double crosses every scene being a spy movie. But nothing builds. The worst sin is every person in this movie is delivering lines like what they’re saying is funny, except for the most part it isn’t. I laughed only a couple times, mostly at Ryan Reynolds. Most of the time I found myself blankly staring at the screen, using Red Notice to slowly wake myself up and get on with my day. I had 3 relatives walk through, watch for 5 minutes or so, and simply go on with their day. And when an explosion happened or someone walked onscreen looking hot, I’d see a head pop out, then return like 30 seconds later, content they got the best part of the scene. Sadly, that half-assed level of attention span might be the perfect for Red Notice, which prompts you when it’s time to pay attention, and give you enough time to do the dishes in between.
To spend more time reviewing Red Notice isn’t fair to you and me. I’m pretty sure Netflix just let the algorithm write the movie and did a brief sanity check before starting production. So during a holiday prep, throw this on. You’ll probably enjoy the movie more than I did because all you’ll remember is the explosions, hot actors, and gorgeous cities.