Shotgun weddings are usually done to hide a pregnancy. Well when J-Lo is involved, a shotgun wedding actually involves a shotgun. The movie is a Jennifer Lopez vehicle through and through, curated to make her look as awesome as she does, sometimes to the detriment of the script and you know, the viewers.
In a beautiful destination wedding in the Philippines, Darcy (J-Lo) and Tom (Josh Duhamel) have gathered both of their families together to celebrate their upcoming nuptials. However, Tom’s obsession over the perfect wedding has given Darcy some cold feet, and Darcy’s inviting of her ex Sean (Lenny Kravitz) freezes Tom’s feet as well. As the couple are about to postpone the wedding, pirates come and take both the families hostage, including Tom’s mom (Jennifer Coolidge), Darcy’s mom (Sonia Braga), dad (Cheech Marin), and her dad’s new girlfriend (D’Arcy Carden). So it’s up to the couple to save their families, and also…THEIR MARRIAGE?!?!
I wasn’t hoping for Shotgun Wedding to blow me away with its film. I just wanted something easy to watch on a cold winter night. I can tell if a movie is working for me if I don’t even think about reaching for my phone. The first hour of Shotgun Wedding I think I involuntarily grabbed my phone a few times because of how bored I was. That first hour is basically clunky borderline unwatchable setup, outside of the obligatory super hot J-Lo shots showing how she defies aging. Coolidge, Marin, Braga, Kravitz, and Carden are basically going for broad stereotypes in wedding movies: new age girlfriend, sexy ex, intrusive mom in law, etc, only skating by on charisma because the writing is so lazy. Even when the pirates show up, the movie can’t really decide for a while if the movie’s supposed to be silly or more grounded, resulting in some middle ground garbage that is shottily green screened.
I can’t say sticking it out made Shotgun Wedding worth it, but at least the premise fully embraces what it should have been. The movie at least saved its best stuff for its finale, giving us wacky set pieces and wonderfully delirious shots. Going full 80s crazy action film means we get J-Lo transforming into GI-Jane, Jennifer Coolidge as tactical backup, and a pretty fun helicopter and boat chase that sticks the landing. Once the move makeshifts a quasi wedding inside a pool with an acapella version of Edwin McCain’s I’ll Be, I think I burst out “bout time, good lord!” Maybe the creative forces behind Shotgun Wedding had cold feet too.
Props to Jennifer Lopez though. Convincing Amazon to give you a paid vacation in the Dominican Republic is a power play only the greats can pull off. And I don’t know what deal you made with the devil, but it’s working wonderfully for you. I don’t know how Josh Duhamel was resisting your advances when you turn it on like you do!