I’m aware not every decision on a movie is going to be the best one for the movie. That being said, when it comes to movie conception, there are a few key questions I expect producers to ask before agreeing to go forward with a movie. Cats is an example of a movie that asks ALL the wrong questions. Now, Wonka isn’t that bad, but I’m certain a lot of the questions were met with “we’ve got Timothee Chalamet” which can be answer…but maybe isn’t the best one?
We meet younger Willy (Chalamet) Titanic’ing his way to England in the Early 1900s. With only a shilling in his pocket, he makes the unfortunate choice to stay at Mrs. Scrubbit’s (Olivia Colman) Inn, the Spirit Airlines of fine print fees. Deep in debt, Willy sneaks out to sell his chocolates with the help of another young debtor, Noodle (Calah Lane). But he also finds a rogue chocolate salesman challenges the triple Cocoa oligarchy of Slugworth (Paterson Joseph), Prodnose (Matt Lucas), and Ficklegruber (Mathew Baynton), who use the police chief (Keegan Michael Key) and other key powerful people to keep competition at bay.
Here’s the big question nobody asked behind the scenes: “Can Timothee Chalamet play a Roald Dahl character?” For those of us who like Roald Dahl stories, the leads are charming but at least a little off center, giving a little nervous strange juju to their tales. Like Matilda, or Mr. Fox. Or Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka. I like Timothee Chalamet a lot, but “weirdo energy” isn’t in his acting repertoire right now. So what is Timothee good at? Being cute and lovable. So Paul King the Paddington writer/director turns Wonka into a Christmas Story, playing to our lead actor’s strengths. Again, defensible: except we’re now a level removed from a Roald Dahl tale without telling the rest of the cast. So when the more Dahl oriented Olivia Colman horrifically handles adorable fresh faced, Tiny Tim, the movie loses its internal consistency, and never quite gels together, coming off like a poorly reviewed Dickens novel. Competing stories with entirely different tones and palates rarely work, and even enthusiastic Timothee Chalamet and some cool sets can’t keep the movie together.
But hey, at least we get Hugh Grant doing the Oompa Loompa songs this time. Maybe those songs should have been meta, about this puzzle of a movie. “What do you get with a Chalamet Dahl? Two fun great guys that try to sing. And. Fall…I don’t like the looks of that.” Um…that’s about all I can come up with. Oh, and “like the Oompa Loompa doopity do!”