In June, school’s out, and the movies choice multiply:
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS
The Good: The franchise appears to be going back to its silly roots
The Bad: A Michael Bay produced movie from the director of Earth to Echo? The fact that you forgot Earth to Echo exists is not a good sign.
Prediction:
I think this Turtles will be better than the first because of nostalgia, but it’s still gonna suck.
POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING
The Good: The Lonely Island guys have grown up and done stuff, and already made some not too bad films.
The Bad: These guys can get a little self indulgent and self serving with their jokes.
Prediction:
High hopes abound for this one. Like a newer version of Rob Reiner’s Spinal Tap.
ME BEFORE YOU
The Good: Single writer adapting their own book.
The Bad: Untested sci-fi/fantasy stars in a tired romantic premise
Prediction:
Saccharine, but you will be forced to cry to impress your significant other that NEEDED to see this one. Hey at least Khaleesi meets Finnick Odair, am I right?
THE CONJURING 2
The Good: Sequel to one of the great horror movies of the last 5 years, with same leads and director.
The Bad: Element of surprise is all but gone.
Prediction:
This will be scary as hell, but probably suffer unfortunately from sequel fatigue.
NOW YOU SEE ME 2
The Good: Most of the cast and the writer is back, plus Daniel Radcliffe joins in.
The Bad: The good director of the first is replaced by a dance movie director, and a sequel with nowhere to go.
Prediction:
Eyecatching visuals, but all surface no substance money grab seems most likely.
WARCRAFT
The Good: A very heady director in Duncan Jones who is overdue at a world creating fantasy story.
The Bad: How many more video game movies are they gonna try?
Prediction:
I have high hopes for this one thanks to Jones, who I think will craft the best video game based movie to date with this one.
FINDING DORY
The Good: The creative trust at Pixar is as good a bet as any in the movie world.
The Bad: Where can they mine the same emotional heft from Dory’s story that they could from Nemo’s?
Prediction:
Bet against Pixar at your own enjoyment peril.
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
The Good: Written and directed by the Dodgeball guy.
The Bad: The Rock in a fat suit.
Prediction:
This movie’s banking on its stars (Dwayne Johnson/Kevin Hart) to carry it, which they can do, but the story looks lazy.
SWISS ARMY MAN
The Good: The most ridiculous premise I’ve ever heard for a movie with this tease: “a farting corpse with an erection played by a former magician.”
The Bad: The ridiculous premise overshadows any story ideas.
Prediction:
Destined for cult status, and probably watchable and batshit crazy.
INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE
The Good: Roland Emmerich is back to blow up some BIG stuff with BIGGER spaceships.
The Bad: The writer has no previous writing credits, and the Will Smithlessness and unnecessary Hemsworthness.
Prediction:
Me like stuff blows up good. Brain off. Smiley on.
THE SHALLOWS
The Good: Decent premise with a solid thriller director.
The Bad: What has Blake Lively done to prove she can lead a movie without other actors?
Prediction:
I let the trailer suck me into thinking this movie is probably better than it actually is. By a lot.
FREE STATE OF JONES
The Good: An eclectic but proven good director with the McConnaissance and a great story.
The Bad: I already feel this movie demanding that I see it because it is important.
Prediction:
While not quite as captivating as Glory’s story, Matthew McConaughey will make sure this one about Confederate rebellion is worth a viewing.