Well, that was, um, something! On paper, I was stoked! The Bend It Like Beckham director making a Bollywood version of A Christmas Carol? Now that’s a fascinating spin on a classic! Or, it could have been, if, say, Gurdinder Chadha or any of her producers asked one question, which would have unraveled this fiasco before anyone saw it.
Ebenezer Scrooge is now Mr. Eshaan Sood (Kunal Nayaar), a crotchety old businessman in a decaying old storefront. His old partner Jacob Marley (Hugh Bonneville) has passed, and Sood has decided to lay off the entire staff except his trusted assistant Bob Crachit (Leo Suter) to save a few pounds. Despite Christmas in the air and on his cabbie’s (Danny Dyer) voice, Mr. Sood would rather just get a good night sleep this Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, a few ghosts and memories, and Tiny Tim, might get in the way of that.
I wonder if Christmas Karma’s financiers promised Gurinder Chadha a certain amount of money, and after watching a few clips, just pulled ALL the money out of the production. Or Chadha blew all the production dollars on a Kenya trip, and pieced together the rest of the movie with scraps. Either way, this production looks like garbage. Everything that isn’t Ghost of Christmas Past material is cheap sound stage with no personality. If you think Marvel’s CGI was bad, woof! Christmas Karma’s is so bad Chadha quick cuts around it so she uses as little of it as possible. But the worst sins here go deeper. This is a famous story with countless adaptations from a filmmaker who loves to use music in her movies. Gurinder decided to laser in on one song, one part of the Christmas Carol story, and that’s it. Everything and everyone else is left to fend for themselves. Other than the Christmas Bhangra Karma (just ok), all the other songs are at best forgettable, but honestly, will just piss you off at how bad they are. The contempt oozes from the soundtrack, hoping the music can skirt by on nostalgia. And don’t get me started on the casting, taking the funny, young looking Kunal Nayaar and committing the miscasting crime of the year, sucking any joy from his presence, and as a result, the film at large.
Ok, so Christmas Karma is bad. But it’d be one thing if it was bad and there wasn’t any effort whatsoever. But the thing it’s there is effort and good ideas in this film in small spots. Mr. Sood’s backstory highlights a part of Indian history I was unaware of; I’m certain this is why Gurinder Chadha agreed to do the movie. There’s real meat on that bone…that the movie squanders immediately with baffling choices. A Bollywood dance off using classic Christmas tunes…great idea! Except Billy Porter is there in a weird outfit adding in Pentecostal Church Hymns that don’t fit into the song at all. HUH?!? You’d think for the Ghost of Christmas Past, maybe we get a Dickensian boy, or maybe even an Indian youthful character of somekind. Nope, in pops Eva Longoria, and a Dia De Los Muertos theme. Um, exactly how does Mexico’s day of the dead on October 31 intersect with Christmas Eve? Every time Longoria is there in full makeup I laughed at how crazy and stupid her presence is, completely undercutting a real point Gurinder Chadha is trying to show the audience about real Indian/British history. By the middle of the Spirit sequences, I literally had both hands on my head going “What the frick is going on?” It is a family movie, after all.
Well this at least worked Gurinder Chadha: I’m gonna read more about Indians working in Uganda during Idi Amin’s racist policies towards them. Otherwise, let us never speak of this perplexing psychotic foray into holiday moviemaking ever again. And never cast Kunal Nayaar in a leading role again either until you watch more Big Bang Theory to see how to use him better.
The idea of mixing *A Christmas Carol* with Bollywood seems so unique on paper, but it’s a shame when movies don’t live up to their potential. Sometimes I wonder if certain projects are rushed through production, which affects their depth.