He-Man was just before my time. So as someone who loved seeing Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Power Rangers adaptations, for all the Masters of the Universe fans, I went in in full support. Taking this long to cash in in movie form I knew the film wasn’t going to be perfect, but as a movie product of a time gone representing a toy product of a time gone, we got the job jone. And maybe…uncancelled Jared Leto? Too far? Agreed.
A primer for people not kids between 1980 and 1984: Eternia is a place where superpowers and heroes are real…and they’re spectacular. Except for Adam (Artie Wilkinson-Hunt), the youngest smallest prince of King Randor (James Purefoy) and Queen Marlena Glenn (Charlotte Riley). Despite Man-At-Arms’s (Idris Elba) best efforts, Adam struggles to become strong and grow up. Bad timing, because Skeletor (Jared Leto) and Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie) arrive and want power, laying siege to the planet and imprisoning everyone. Before capturing Adam, the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) prompts Adam to pick up the Sword of Power, which he uses to go to his mom’s home – Oklahoma City, Earth – to hide until the time is right to return and fight.
Travis Knight and the writers know Masters of the Universe is silly and frankly, kinda stupid. So they lean into the bit, meta commenting on it as the story goes along. The gimmicks they come up with conceptually are clever, but never quite complete the thought. Making older Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) end up a human resources sensitive man who announces his pronouns works in fits and starts. Having the boy man constantly be ok with being overshadowed by Teela (Camila Mendes), Roboto (Kristen Wiig), or other people/creatures is great for jokes, but never really accomplishes anything. Revealing this voiceover backstory is just a failed dating app date also is perfect for a chuckle until you start thinking about how Adam’s reputation as a psycho must have poisoned the dating scene very quickly in Oklahoma City. But laughing at that part of the lore is ok. Knight makes sure He-Man’s big moments pop, specifically when he shouts “I HAVE THE POWER!” and lifts his sword into the air, zooming out into a menagerie of lightning and electricity that worked for me, and for many people in that room.
But the smartest realization Knight and his brass made is getting the villain right, making it even harder with the “box office poison” Jared Leto casting. But Skeletor’s sections are the best part of Masters of the Universe, by far. For the most part, he’s just a one-dimensional power hungry psycho with a skeleton for head, and leans into it, letting Evil-Lyn camp it up most of the time so he can be necessarily menacing. That being said, sneakily Knight attempts to insert dimensionality to Skeletor are the funniest parts of the movie, leaning a bit into the Leto casting with it. After a cackling for example, the scene will just…continue for 20-30 seconds longer, as Skeletor realizes the moment has passed not exactly the way he wanted, so he sulks and angrys himself while his sycophants try to console him. This undercuts just enough of the danger to keep the movie exciting when the battles happen, but not horrifying for the kids going with their overly excited parents trying to understand why they’re so pumped. Oh, and rest easy Gen X parents: THANKFULLYthe laugh is as menacing as everyone wants it to be.
It might be too little too late for Masters of the Universe, as we are on the downslope of Hollywood’s superhero era. But, seeing disappointing Marvel and DC movies for years now, some new blood was welcome, with relatively low stakes and seriousness. If this movie’s a hit, expect Barbie to show up (she is Mattel after all too) soon, hosting a therapy seminar with He-Man about how loving yourself lets you love others…and teaching Evil-Lyn to ditch her toxic relationship and convince her she can be her own woman. It’s only 30 seconds to Mars from Eternia. You’re welcome.