Santa Claus: Action Hero. Other than the incredible “Santa’s Slay” I don’t think I’d seen a movie where jolly Old St. Nick…just beat the living crap out of people on the naughty list. All David Harbour wants is that you believe; you believe that Violent Night Kris Kringle is a hammer wielding badass saving the sanctity of Christmas.
After Santa (David Harbour) has a nice little power hour in Bristol England, he finds himself in a rich Connecticut suburb, at the Lightstone family home. In the house is matriarch ruthless capitalist Gertrude (Beverly D’Angelo, NICE casting) and her two grovelly children Jason (Alex Hassell) and Alva (Edi Patterson) with their families: Alva’s hot dumb husband Morgan Steele (Cam Gigandet) and her annoying vlogger son Bertrude (Alexander Elliot), and Jason’s ex Linda (Alexis Louder) with their legitimately sweet Santa believing daughter Trudy (Leah Brady). Despite seeming like a normal family Christmas, all the maids and butlers turn out to be working for “Mr. Scrooge” (John Leguizamo), a heist planner who knows Gertrude stores more in that house than nice whiskey and Nutcrackers. You better watch out, and you definitely will cry, you definitely will pout and I’ll tell you why Mr. Scrooge…well, you can fill in the rest.
Movies like Violent Night need commitment to the bit. Fortunately, David Harbour, Leah Brady, and John Leguizamo know what movie they are in. Leguizamo is having a blast being the walking epitome of a non-believer: clearly hurt by Christmas in his past so he wants others to feel the same way. Watching him get more and more incredulous as his henchmen start believing in Santa always generates a laugh. Leah Brady gives a perfect child performance for an r Rated violent Santa film, meaning she’s mostly cute with Santa and kinda weird and sneakily Home Alone violent herself when bad people try to capture her. And then there’s Harbour. Wonderful, all-in David Harbour. The Stranger Things actor really makes you feel Nick’s world weariness, more and more agitated at how ungrateful and capitalistic kids have become today. The one great addition to St. Nick canon in Violent Night is a gnarly, delicious backstory, which Harbour mines for his sadness and our delight when he has to be vulnerable to sweet little Trudy.
But everyone’s big question is: how violent is Violent Night? The answer: shockingly visceral. There’s a LOT of blood and very, very bludgeony deaths, since Santa’s primary weapon choice is a sledgehammer. This movie lives and dies by its action sequences (any non Santa/Scrooge sequence is pretty terrible), and more importantly, it’s clever Christmas related executions of collectively “the naughty list brigade.” Some of the stuff you’ve seen before: candy canes, icicles, ice skates have been used in Santa related horror movies. There are 3 distinct highlights: without spoiling, one involves the star on top of a Christmas tree, one is a montage of Merry Christmas mayhem featuring Santa vs like 10 bad guys, and the final kill you’ll know is coming, but it 100% delivers what you want from a movie called Violent Night.
Of the 2022 Christmas movie slate (Spirited, the Christmas Story sequel, and Lohan Christmas), Violent Night delivers the highest highs. The movie’s not quite daring enough to be as cynical as Bad Santa, but it’s still an adult delight for anyone who eyerolls at a holiday built on saccharine chastity. My only wish was if they could incorporate some actors other movies: Cam Gigandet should have said “Never Back Down” before he gets blown away, and a golden retriever should have eaten Leguizamo’s lead henchmen Brendan Fletcher the kid rival in Air Bud. Now THOSE are some deep cuts!