This star rating is just the starting point for a live action Disney remake now. The company has made it clear they have no interest in any creative changes to the remakes. So I’m gonna make it clear that I don’t really want to put as much thought into the review. Fine.
So for the kids born 2 years ago that haven’t seen the great 2016 animated Moana but can somehow read, this is for you. Moana (Catherine Laga’aia) is the leader in waiting of Motunui, and island in the Pacific. She yearns to go out to sea, but her scared father/Chief Tui (John Tui) is too scared to let her go. Gramma Tala (Rena Owen) sees the yearning in her granddaughter, and the growing blight on the crops in Motunui. She helps Moana set out to sea, in search of demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson) and the heart of Te Fiti so she can stop the blight and bring peace and happiness back to her people.
The Wikipedia entry for 2016 and 2026 Moana is literally copy pasted. That’s incredibly demoralizing. All pretense is gone with 2026 live action Moana: let’s just run it back with mostly everyone we cast in the first. Fans love Lin Manuel Miranda’s “How Far I’ll Go”, so let’s just at reprises every 20 minutes so we can keep singing it with slightly different words. Whatever. The mild saving grace is vet Lena Owen, charming as ever, and newcomer Catherine Laga’aia, who’s requisitely as plucky and light with words and on her feet like Auli’i Cravalho was in 2016 in voice form. And I guess the CGI is alright, with the final act slightly more competently made than the animated version.
But frankly, to spend any more time thinking about 2026 Moana would be more time I spent than anyone making this only slightly above AI Generated remake of the movie. Parents, only go out to see this if you need air conditioning and you don’t have it at home. And I almost want to say sneak into the movie so Disney doesn’t get the satisfaction of your money, but I have more principles than they do, so I can’t fully get on board with that ;).